Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Endorsed Items

Our Top 10 products in use EVERY day while boondocking or gate guarding.


All ads other than Amazon have been removed. Thank you for using my Amazon links like the one above for your online shopping.



The Fabric of Life: I didn't get a tie

or socks or a new cd or a Polo shirt or even a card for Father’s Day.  I got this……..

Daddy,

So far this morning, I’ve been busy getting the stuff together to make your BBQ chicken this afternoon, making sure Henry has enough snakes around to kill, and looking for Camaro parts on Year One.

I love the fact that because of you- this seems like a completely normal weekend to me.

Cait and Henry in the BEVO car

Living apart from you for so long always seemed so strange to me, but even at Lajes and when I first got to Italy, I would hear your voice in the back of my head (“You’re smarter than that, Cait”….”They can’t eat you, right?”….”Will this even matter 10 years down the road?”). I still do, especially when I wanna feel sorry for myself or get down about something that is pretty insignificant. But it seems in the past 2 or 3 years, I hear you more in the words that *I* say, rather than just hearing you in my subconscious. When I tell my young Airman that she doesn’t have to be nervous about an interview, because what can they really do to her? Or when I’m looking in the backseat at Henry when we’re listening to Robert Earl Keen, or Slaid Cleaves, or Marshall Tucker Band, or the Allman Brothers- knowing that one day he’ll hear these songs and know all the words to them, but he won’t know why.

You have been the single most significant force in my life, and I say that without hesitation.

Before you lost your job, I didn’t understand even who you fully were. It just seemed normal to me that Dads worked all day and Moms were the people that cared about your problems. I didn’t know you before I was 14 years old, really. And I was so young and impressionable that if you hadn’t lost your job when you did, I would have been sucked into the sorority girl, private school, little-rich-girl world. I probably would have gone to college, I can almost guarantee you I wouldn’t have finished. And I probably would be somewhere, bar tending or whatever. And that’s fine for some girls, but luckily- I had you for a Dad. I had a Dad that loved me more than any man ever could, so I didn’t need to go out and get that attention from stupid boys who listened to Pat Green and wore boots that didn’t have any dirt on them. I had a Dad that believed in me so much, that I had the courage to join the military and do a job that was completely out of my comfort zone. I had a Dad that I knew would forgive me and chalk it up to teenage stupidity when I got married to someone I never should have even dated. And I had a Dad that stood next to me on the hardest day of my life, when the sun was beating down and some Marines buried my soulmate in the hard North Texas ground- I had a Dad that let me cry about it, but didn’t let me get bogged down in the depression. I had a Dad that forced me to remember that while good people die, it’s more important to remember that they lived.

And more recently, I had a Dad that traveled halfway around the world to hang out with me for a day in Venice and was perfectly happy to sit down and drink shitty Italian beer with me. And I had a Dad that pulled my most prized possession across 3 states without ever complaining about what a pain in the ass it was.

I heard that Billy Joe Shaver song the other day, “Live Forever”, and while I’ve always loved that song, for some reason- it really touched me. Just like I tell stories about Briscoe now, even though I never met him- someday Henry’s kids will tell stories about you, even if they don’t ever get the chance to meet you. Not only did you change my life, but because of who I am- you’ve changed Shawn’s life, and Henry’s life, and his kids and his grandkids. You’ll live forever, because you’ve loved me unconditionally and you’ve believed in me without hesitation and you’ve always been there for me, no matter if it was an idiotic marriage, or the saddest moment of my life.

You’re my Dad, and there’s a million Hallmark cards I could have sent you that tell you how great you are and how much you mean to me- but none of them seemed to encapsulate what you mean to me. I don’t know if I can even capture it in words, but I just want you to know- that when I tell you I love you before we get off the phone, I mean it more than you could ever know.

You’ve been my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, my motivation, my voice of reason, and a million other things that can be summed up in six words:

Thank you for being my Daddy.

I love you, Happy Father’s Day.

End Note: Billy Joe Shaver does Live Forever:

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 8.4/10 (7 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)
The Fabric of Life: I didn't get a tie, 8.4 out of 10 based on 7 ratings
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...






7 comments to The Fabric of Life: I didn’t get a tie

  • Marty

    Andy, the card from your daughter brought tears to the eyes of both my wife and myself. To have daughter with that much love, respect and admiration for a parent is truly a blessing, but to have a child that takes the time and energy to put those feelings in writing is both a blessing AND a gift. I love your daughter and don’t even know her.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Joel

    Well, I read this way late, but it is timeless.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • admin

      Thanks Joel. I looked up one day and she was a grown woman. There is an affinity between daughters and dads that I do not need to explain to you.

      VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
      VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Joel

    Heh. We’ll see. She moves back to St. Louis next month for a 3-year gig. Propinquity could test that affinity.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Loyd

    Andy,
    It’s 3 days before Christmas and that letter was the best gift an old man could get…and it wasn’t even from MY chilld. You are truly blessed, my new friend!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • LJ Huebel

    That letter does stir up some reflective thoughts in this 62yr old hardheaded brain of mine. I have 3 daughters, ages 31-28, all act, and look different. I’m thankfull that they still want to be around , I am still overprotective, and now understand my own parents as they tried to guide my thoughts to “keep me out of trouble’ Good whiskey Blanton’s and LapFrog as I call that peat scotch is often in my cabinet. cheers.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave a Reply

 

 

 

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>