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Of Mice and Monkeys

My buddy Scott aka The Fat Guy apparently shares a fear of snakes with many of my gate guard friends.  Take it for granted when that warm weather roles around and the snakes come out of their winter hidey holes, the gate guard blogs are gonna be full of snake sightings and snake pics.

Scott one-upped most all others by coming up with some snakeology that was new to me –flying snakes.

I gotta admit that was new to me and pretty danged interesting but not unexpected.  There are plenty of critters that can fly that shouldn’t oughta – flying squirrels, flying fish; you know that sorta thing.  As far as being terrified of snakes – and specifically flying snakes- It doesn’t amp me much or make hairs stand up.  I figure if you are going to that flying snake country you best be prepared for it.  I figure they make a hat or something that would keep ’em off of ya.

Everybody has some sort of phobia from what I can tell.  My Grandfather was as naturally fearless as anyone I have ever known.    Unless it had to do with mice;  he was scared witless by a mouse.  If a mouse ran up his pant’s leg, he would just melt down on the spot.  That proved to be a huge source of fun for me and My Bro over the years let me tell ya.  Other folks don’t like spiders or small spaces or flying or ninja cats.

Witches and Winged Monkeys

For all my bluff and bluster, I harbor a deep seated phobia as well.    No doubt it is a phobia many will scoff at but I can’t help it.  It is what it is.  Flying Monkeys ala the Wizard of Oz.  More correctly  — Winged Monkeys just to use the correct nomenclature.   Those blue faced little bastards have been the source of many a nightmare over the years and I am at a loss to tell you why.   If I were to venture a guess I would say it is because they just ooze evil.   What with those leering grins and theater usher uniforms, you just know they are up to no good when the Wicked Witch hollers ‘Fly my prettys’.  Out that window they jump and the next thing you know they have ripped the stuffins out of that poor old Scarecrow.  Bastards!  Makes me cringe just thinkin’ about it.

Scary t-shirt

‘It is all fun and games until the flying monkeys attack!’  That is what it says on the front of a t-shirt bought years ago.  I am less and less likely to wear a t-shirt that proclaims anything here lately.  Just doesn’t seem quite appropriate as the years advance but the flying monkey one is an occasional exception.   Sometimes I wish I had some  winged monkey minions.   A few interdictions down along the Border might send those Cartel mules scurrying back to Sinaloa rapidamente.   I bet they would cause quite a stir in New York City as well if I loosed them on United Nations Headquarters.  Oh well!  Enough fantasizing for one day!  The Midland/Odessa News starts at 5am and I need to roll up some cigarettes.  Even though the scenery changes little, it is the start of a new week out here in the West Texas Oilpatch.  Gotta go!



End Note: I Gotta Go by Robert Earl Keen form the Ready for Confetti cd

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3 comments to Of Mice and Monkeys

  • Funny — while I was writing that post, I was thinking of exactly those flying monkeys. They ruined many nights when I was a child. Those little SOBs were unbelievably scary. I still don’t know what it was that was so frightening, but somebody somewhere deserves a medal / ass-whipping.

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  • Miss Kathy

    It’s the man behind the curtain you need to fear.

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