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Lighten Up!


From eBay


The assault rock is back. These have been flying off the shelf since Cain first took the tactical advantage against Abel.

Get this low speed, high drag assault rock while you still can. This is next on Dianne Feinstein’s list.


-enhanced grip texture
-easily concealable
-can be thrown as fast as you can swing your arm
-low tech tactical black spray paint



*This is not a weapon.
*This can not be attached to a weapon
*Does not include the “shoulder thing that goes up”
*This is for historical and decorative purposes only
*Can not be sold to Califorinia residents
*If purchased assault rock must be watched carefully as they can develop a mind of their own
*Buyer’s responsibility to check all local laws and regulations
*All ATF and NFA rules and regulations apply

Questions and answers about this item
Q: Does this Rock come wit a crtificate of authenticty? I don’t want to buy any of those fake Chineese import rocks that just break when you use them.
A: It will come with a certificate of authenticity.   Jan 15, 2013
Q: Will you ship to New York? It would need to be quick because the grip on this assault rock would count as a “military” feature and may be banned tonight.
A: I will ship to New York. Auction ends tomorrow so you should probably do everything you can so you can get grandfathered in. I’ll ship it right out for you.  Jan 14, 2013
Q: Can this work in conjunction with pocket sand?
A: It could be quite the combo. Jan 14, 2013
Q: Sheesh, that looks like it could leave quite nasty cuts or bruises, and could be pretty noisy. Is it possible to get them with a coating of moss, so as to cushion some of those sharp edges? (Or at least make the blows a… Continue reading
A: Something like a pillow sack can help to suppress the noise from a blow. If you are looking to do less damage might I recommend you arm yourself with a smile and hugs.  Jan 14, 2013
Q: I have been informed that the weapon you are advertising for sale (or a model just like it) was involved in a unprovoked attack and eventual death of one Mr, Goliath (first name unknown) by a Mr. David (last name unknown)…. Continue reading
A: Some of our original designs are based off of David’s rock. It’s nice seeing a properly armed citizen defending himself and others. What could have happened had he not had his assault rock?

4 more pages of equally hilarious Q and A


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Lighten Up!, 7.4 out of 10 based on 8 ratings
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2 comments to Lighten Up!

  • joel

    I’d support having one of these in every school in the country. It would do as much good as having an armed guard in every school, and would be $4,999,999,000 cheaper in the first year, and $5 billion/year cheaper after that.

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  • Jim

    Thats hiliarious!

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