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Beanee Weenees for Breakfast

Tuco the Dog –Beanee Weenee hound extraordinaire

You would think that as good a chefette as Miss Kathy is that I would be absolutely ruint when it comes to eating.  I gotta admit that she has certainly opened my eyes to how damned good food prepared by a truly talented cook can be.  Still yet  I often slide into the abyss of curmudgeon cuisine on a fairly regularly schedule.

In former lives, the significant other would most likely give me a snurly look and say “You really aren’t going to eat that are you?’  Crestfallen and derided, I would think to myself “Well, yeah I was but you sorta took the fun out of it now.”  That is where a good dog comes in.  They could give a good damn if it is proper or healthy or an absurd combination of food groups.  If it tastes decent, a good dog will be right there with ya just a wolfin’ it down.  So ya got a partner in crime –never will a dog give you a quizzical look that says “I don’t believe you just put that in your mouth.”

Starting a shift at 3am puts Tuco the Dog and myself into an odd circadian rhythm.   By daylight or thereabouts we are ready for a little snack.  Miss K is getting her best sleep  but while she maybe disapproving of the breakfast, or in our case lunch, selection she still abets our odd eating preferences.  I say ‘odd’ because Tuco the Dog can be an absolute fool for some particular items.  I can pretty well count on the fridge and pantry being stocked with beanee weenees, vienna sausages, pepperoncini, braunschweiger sausage (Tuco the Dog fave), lunch meat, horseradish, summer sausage, pickled jalapeno slices, hot chow chow, sardines, Little Debbie Nutty Bars, cheddar cheese, jalapeno cheese, Pace picante, swiss cheese, Zesta saltines, Townhouse crackers etc etc etc.  Any combination of the previous might make it on the paper plate for our morning snack.   Probably a good thing Miss K is sleeping…… maybe too it is the reason Tuco the Dog has hazmat dog farts.   I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Now if I get the urge to actually cook I usually wait until noon or so when Miss Kathy is up and about.  I am an incorrigible pot rattler to the point I wake the dead.  I also have to eat the big meal of the day fairly early else ways I get terrible nightmares from some of my critically horrific combos.  Miss K is convinced it is bad food karma;  I don’t think you go to hell for that.  I just betcha you never thought I would be posting recipes here but after all a man has gotta eat so let me take a shot at it.  Just let it be known these recipes are not Miss Kathy endorsed and prepare and consume them with an eye to the fact of just where they originated.

Hot Ham Sandwich

Pound or so of deli ham

Smallish sweet onion

4 Swiss cheese slices

1/2″ wide pat of butter

Dark rye bread

Chop the onion up coarse

Slice the ham longways into 1/4″ strips

Melt the butter on a medium skillet and add the onion.

Cook the onions until clear and add the ham.

Mix the two up real good and turn the heat off.

Lay the cheese on top and let it melt.

When it cools off just enough, cut it into 4 squares.  Spread mustard on one piece of bread, mayo on the other.  Lift one of those squares out of the skillet and put it on the bread.  Sometimes I toast the bread.

Spicy Tuna

I love me some tuna fish; I certainly do.  I had an ol’ gal tell me back in the day that tuna fish and Pace Picante was the Texas cowgirl diet. I tried it and just couldn’t hardly go that route.   So if you get tired of the tried and true tuna salad, give this a shot.

Small can of chunk light tuna in water

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 cup Pace Picante –some times I feel like hot; sometimes I like medium

A few diced pickled jalapeno slices if you are feeling froggy

Drain the water off the tuna.  Mix it all up.

Eat it as a dip with Zesta saltines or Townhouse crackers or even Ruffles chips.  Use it as a dressing over one of those salad in a bag deals.

Crockpotpot Roast

28-ounce bag of mini potatoes, rinsed and pierced with fork (I use mini-yukon golds or those butter potatoes)
1 onion, quartered
2 1/2 pounds boneless chuck roast, rump roast, top round roast
1 packet onion soup mix
1 packet Crockpot savory pot roast seasoning mix
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
Cracked black pepper
1 small bag of baby carrots


Spray slow cooker with non-stick cooking spray. Cover the bottom of the crockpot with one layer of potatoes. Top with the roast. Add the onion quarters. Add onion soup mix, cream of mushroom soup (rinse can with one can of water), red wine vinegar, salt, garlic powder,seasoning mix and black pepper. Cover and cook on low for  8 hours, at the very least. During the last 1.5 hours of cooking, add the carrots to the slow cooker, making sure to submerge them in the cooking liquid. When done, serve the meat and vegetables in a bowl with some broth, along with a chunk of crusty bread.


Tuco the Dog thinks I am the Food God.  Rachel Ray or Guy Fieri probably not so much.  Your mileage may vary.

End Note:  Life in the Country By Danny Barnes from the Dirt on the Angel cd.     John Denver on crack.






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1 comment to Beanee Weenees for Breakfast

  • What he didn’t tell you is that Tuco often begs to go out once I wake up so she can “Up-Chuck” what ever abomination she partook of while I was asleep and unable to protect her!

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