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Other People's Problems Are Not My Problems and vicey versey

A series of elucidatory vignettes

DIY coffee

DIY coffee

I ran out of coffee this morning just as I brewed the last cup of the day in my Hamilton Beach Scoop Coffee Maker.  Worked out just right but I gotta say, most of my days been working out about like that lately. The stars must be aligned just so and I am digging it.  So on up in the morning,  I got out the Hand-crank Coffee Mill and scooped some Costa Rican La Minita Terrazu beans out of the Friis Coffee Vault and set to grinding up some coffee for the next AM.  I had judiciously planned ahead on a cool morning earlier in the week and roasted up a batch of green beans in my Whirley-Pop Popcorn Popper which sets in a Lodge #8 cast iron skillet on top of a gas burner in the NOPRINCESS Palace.  A complicated process?  Nah, not so much.  I drilled a hole in the top of the Whirley Pop and I stick a Candy/Deep Fry Thermometer to sorta keep a idea of what I am burning and just how bad the damage really is. Easy peasy once you get the hang of it and it does make for some fine ass coffee.

The whole thing is I had the tools, the raw materials and the initiative to take care of of my needs.   I guess I could have waited on somebody from fed.gov to happen by checking on my welfare while I whiled away the days sittin’  on the couch and watching cable tv but I didn’t.   All of my itty bitty problems do not automatically become a problem that the gov boys are s’posed to take care of.  I don’t expect it and I damned sure don’t want it.   Appears some folks do.  Hell, the other day they were calling 911  in LA because twitter or facebook was down and they wanted the gov to fix it NOW!   Christ on a cracker, what are folks thinking?

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Anode rod old vs new

Anode rod old vs new

Sometimes I am just a slacker of monumental proportions.  Such was the case with replacing the Aluminum Anode Rod on the Palace water heater.  I know the two gals that bought the Palace new were not maintenance fanatics or even in that same zip code.  I figured that anode rod was fairly eat up and water heater cancer is bad juju but yet I waited over a year to replace a $9 buck part.  Maybe I was waiting on the FEMA man to show up with a sack full of anode rods in his Hummer and slap one on for me along with an NSA tracker bug under the back bumper. Had to be somethin’ along those lines for me to be such a laggard.

I knew that anode rod was gonna be a tough nut to get out and it was so blasted hot the horny toads were hangin’ out in the AC drip off the roof.  Hell with that, full speed ahead.  The head of the targeted anode rod was all corroded up so I doused it down with PB Blaster and WD 40 till it run on the ground and then I waited for the chemical goodness to happen.  A breaker bar, short extension, inch and a sixteenth socket and 2 mins later I was slidin’ that rascal right out.  Had to get a metal bbq skewer rod that Little Blondie missed on her pilfer of the premises and use it to rod out all the gunkiness which was collected around the hole.  A nasty mess; that.  I slapped a little teflon tape on the virgin rod and threaded it right in.  Let the sacrifice begin.  Made a note on the calendar of my Razr flip phone to replace it again in six months.  Betcha if I had one of those iPhones it would chime in a soothing fashion to get my attention and then a woman with a sexy British accent would say “Hey studly man, it is time to change your anode rod.”  followed up by a youtube of how the Pros do it.   File that under another thing I not be needing.

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6 years ago this September I was right in the middle of Hurricane Ike in Houston takin’ care of family.  Still got that John Q. Adams dollar coin on my key ring as an always reminder. Me and My Bro got a loose plan to handle that when it comes up again — as it is bound to. I am not going to hang out and sit back waiting on FEMA or DHS to show up and shoo my folks and Sis  into a relief center that don’t allow bowling balls or dogs. Won’t ever happen thataway because a fella looks after family. Period. Now if FEMA or the Red Cross shows up with MRE’s and bottled water and a clothes washin’ trailer outfit, I’ll be havin’ some of that.  If they don’t, that’ll be alright too.

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Big Ass Suburban stripped down

Big Ass Suburban stripped down

This past Monday I got a relief guard to sit the gate for the day and I hightailed it to San Marcos to meet up with Little Blondie. I had some goods to give her that were left behind in the pilfer and she had a few items that got taken  ‘by mistake.’  We also were set to divvy up the goods in the temperature control storage.  The air was civil but not cordial about the place as to be expected I reckon.  She had first said she did not want me in the same county while she was goin’ through the goods but later relented when she realized the heavy lifting involved was no bueno for her bad back.  We did the deal and I was able to return all the items she missed and she got a fair division of the storage cache items.  I just wish she had been as conscientious.   ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I forgot’  do not make it all right to be a half-ass.

I had real need to go up there myself as well.  I had the RENOGY® Four(4) Grade A 250W Watt Solar Panels sitting on the pallet in the gravels where the trucker dropped ’em off.   I really didn’t realize they were that frickin’ BIG when I ordered them up.  I had to strip the Big Ass Suburban right down before it could swallow those panels whole.  Probably a good thing too because between the panels, Little Blondie’s swag and my goods going to storage I ended up with a full load.

You know, when you marry up with somebody, it ain’t to be taken lightly.  You swear a sacred vow to respect and protect that other person even before you look after your ownself.  That is just the way it is.  Little Blondie was high maintenance going in and I knew that full well and fully considered what I was gettin’ into before I got to the ‘I do’ part. Wasn’t nobody twistin’ my arm,  I accepted her whole package as part of my responsibility.  Well, friends and neighbors, the legal paper work that releases me from that set of promises I made to her in Calvert, Texas  4 years ago next week are ’bout to make their way through the Texas court system.  She believes she was released from those vows sometime ago.  I discovered years back the human animal can justify just about anything if they study on it long enough.  It will be a prodigious weight off my shoulders when the finality is attained but until then I am STILL married.  Black and white. Period.

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I just turned the 10th load of frac sand today away from my gate.  The got screwed up directions so not their fault.  Luckily, I know where they are going and can set ’em straight.  Keeping a tally and so far 7 out of the 10 have not even offered back a ‘thank you’ for my time out in the hot sun taking care of their problem.  A sign of the times we live in I reckon.  It is what it is.

End Note: Black Magic Woman by Santana from the Abraxas album. What Carlos said……….

“I got a black magic woman
Got me so blind I can’t see
That she’s a black magic woman
She’s tryin’ to make a devil out of me.”

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5 comments to Other People’s Problems Are Not My Problems and vicey versey

  • Joel

    Glad to see you learned how to make your own coffee, Andy. There are few pleasures that remain to us geezers than a good cuppa. I had not realized that there were Texans who expected the federal government to make their coffee for them. That’s why I read this blog–I learn all kinds of new stuff.

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  • Richard Boyd

    Your sagacity serves me with yet another smile. Hell, I just might give up on Confucius and study-up on Andyisms. “I discovered years back the human animal can justify just about anything if they study on it long enough.”

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    • Andrew

      Thanks Richard

      Good to hear from you

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  • Andy,
    I always find it interesting that today’s young people don’t have a foundation of manners. Sad tale of the times I guess.
    When receiving directions I always say thank you because without that person’s guidance I would not get to where I was going.
    If I ever meet up with you and need directions you can be damn sure I will say THANK YOU!!!

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  • Donna

    Forget the women: get you a good dog. Loyal to a fault, always happy to see you, and low maintenance. Glad you’ll be rid of the ballast soon.

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