You ever heard of a divorce that was all rainbows, puppies and soft bunnies? Me neither; I think it not possible. Everybody has weeds in their roses. It is called Life. Seeing as how I have been here and done this a few, uhhhh, times in the past, I can rate this one as a 7 out of a possible 10 on the ‘F You UP’ scale. The Long Marriage closed out a decade ago and it was a soul searing Perfect 10. I still twitch and gibber when I recall that personal hell on earth that lasted an interminable time.
Little Blondie can’t not lie. I think the grammar Nazis call that a double negative but no other sentence describes it in more perfect fashion. Many things can cause a marriage to fail. Not keeping your panties on could be one. Then again, keeping your panties on when your husband would clearly prefer them to be kicked over in the corner ain’t so great either. Stealing from your spouse could be a reason to split but speaking from personal experience, it can be easily forgiven. Stuff is easily replaced and mostly inconsequential in the Cosmic Continuum. But being a consistent liar is a deal breaker. It has to be and I don’t get to make the rules on this one. A liar introduces doubt with every word uttered into a Holy Union where I count on my partner to have my back without question. A liar also disrespects the person they lie to. Every lie cut away a small piece of my heart to the point I had little left to live on.
So it came to pass Little Blondie worked really, really hard and landed a good security job here in the oil patch. I was truly proud of her because I was fearful her physical disabilities, daily prescribed and entirely necessary opioid use due to pain and mental/moral lassitude would be a hindrance. She pulled it off and did what she had to do. When the chips are down, she is a hard bitten true survivor. I got an email along about then that started out sorta like this here ‘Pay attention. Have I got a deal for you……’
Hmmmm. Somehow or the other I had gone from being a doormat at the shithouse threshold to a stellar and magnificent man in 24 hours. Something must be amiss; ya think? In oil patch fashion, her new job was two weeks on /two weeks off. I thought to myself that will suit her well because the grind really drags her down and two weeks to recharge is a good thing. The reason she was all kissy-kissy was she wanted me to keep Tuco the Dog while she was doing her two weeks at the man camp. I was nonplussed at such aberrant expectations and sent back this one line reply ‘You can’t be serious?????’ Move on, end of story.
3 weeks later, 4 days before she was due to start the new job, she made a trip to the Palace to exchange bowling equipment for direly needed cash. Nothing like buying the same same bowling equipment twice. She also filled a supply list for me since I was two weeks past the last town trip. Thank you for that caring act LB. There was a kissy-kissy tang in the air and my spidey senses were jangling. As I was unloading the Durango, I noticed a case of Tuco food in the back. Uh oh I says to myself. We visited around a little bit and I was enjoying the company and seeing the both of them when the tears and hand wringing commenced. She had found a kennel to board Tuco the Dog for two weeks but, you know, Tuco the Dog was a sensitive and precocious animal and she had never been caged and she knew how much I loved that dog………….
People our age with a loved pet know when I say a dog is almost like a child to us. Especially a fine dog that spends every waking minute with you as a companion, never relegated to a back yard or neglected on the end of a tie out chain. They become a part of your life just as intrinsically as your young children did decades previous. Tuco the Dog admirably filled that role and I have never known a finer animal. In any divorce, the children suffer most. Even the dog kids. How do their little lemon sized brains process the fact that one of their masters is no longer present? I couldn’t tell you and it pains me a great deal to even ponder it. I will say Tuco the Dog did her best to crawl right up in my lap while I was sitting at the dinette. It made my heart swell out of my chest. Abiding and true love is a wondrous thing.
So I stepped outside of the lies, stealing and cheating perpetrated on me by a woman with a heart of obsidian and agreed to dog sit for Little Blondie for two weeks. Tuco the Dog is loving life and so am I. She knows who she is and what her role is at the Princess Palace. Just like she never left. Fine silky dog hair wafts on the floor fan breeze in the Palace. Errant caliche dirt makes its’ way inside on dog paws. Little enough price to pay as I would gladly pay a cost far higher. My heart sings when I glance down at her laying at my feet. One day at a time. friends and neighbors, one day at a time.
Parting Shot: Today is Little Blondie’s 46th birthday. Many happy returns of the day. Honest.
Colonel Cooper says
As we approach the birthday of Theodore Roosevelt we are tempted to enjoy as much of his writing as we can. I was shown the quotation that follows in connection with the popular discussion of “The Multi-cultural Society.”
“The one absolute certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to be become a tangle of squabbling nationalities.”
End Note: Ain’t Love Strange by Paul Thorn from the So Far So Good cd. Sometimes you just say F**k It! and spin up some Paul Thorn. What other singer you know crawled in the squared ring with Roberto Duran?
“God will love you if you put on that blue polka dot mini skirt with black stiletto heels.”
What he said…….
Paul Thorn, Elvin Bishop and Delbert McClinton
Good and tight – rockin’ the night. If you don’t know of Paul Thorn; you should.
I got a dog,

With any luck, she won’t return for Tuco. If not this time, in the future. It’s happened to me more than once.
The saga continues. I feel for you man! Moving on is hard but the one day at a time works pretty damn good. You are in my prayers. Blondie too.
That was a real good post! Bob
Gracias!
Make sure to rate the post via the gold star dealio at the bottom
That is good news, hopefully she will leave him there. Wasn’t Tuco your dog to start off with?
No,always her dog
So glad you are getting a chance to pal around with Tuco again. Kind of an uncool move on LB’s behalf, betting on your fondness for the dog to have her taken care of for little or no expense.
Lucy’s Doggy Day Care in San Antonio does a real bang up job of taking care of pooches. They have a yard they can run, play and interact with other dogs and also offer webcams in some of the kennels so the owner can check up on them.
Just had another thought. How about renaming the “Palace” to something a little more masculine. Say, something like the “Curmudgeon Castle”. The name reeks masculinity and brings to mind visions of hairy, barrel chested men hurrahing over their latest conquest with a pint of frothy ale(okay, I may have a little too much time on my hands to think about this stuff). Or in the curmudgeon’s case, the, “you damn kids get the hell off my lawn” factor
Hey!
I sorta like the NO PRINCESS Palace! That way if another ol’ gal comes along I can change it right back! Easy Peasy!
And many happy returns of the day to LB.
Frankly, Andy, you got the better part of the deal. I agree with cyndi above, look for Return Of Tuco in the future.
I fear this will not end well. If you are extraordinarily lucky she won’t come back. If you aren’t she’ll continue to use the dog to work you over. My .02 and a five dollar bill will buy you a Starbucks latte. Be well.
I separate a good dog from Little Blondie easily enough.
It is all good
The Dogs….always the Dogs.
Watch your six….mind you top knot.
Your just standin in her line.
Carmen must have been the Devils daughter
At least he taught her how to wear her clothes
And the boys folled her to the slaughter
Where they fell like a row of dominoes
They fell like a row of dominoes
Don’t let your past drive you under
You know how a memory comes and goes
Well the years rolled away just like thunder
Where they fell like a row of dominoes
They fell like a row of dominoes
Won’t you tell me how you been
Something more than you’ve been feelin fine
I’m havin that feelin again
There’s a whole lot more to lay on the line
A whole lot more to lay on the line
Share and share alike you know I love you
But I also love the way the wild wind blows
So don’t set your dreams up there above you
Where they’ll fall like a row of dominoes
They’ll fall like a row of dominoes
They say a fool never knows what he misses
And a wise man never misses what he knows
What can I say your ten thousand kisses
Fell on me like a row of dominoes
They fell like a row of dominoes
Won’t you tell me how you been
Something more than you’ve been feelin fine
I’m havin that feelin again
And the dominoes are standin in a line
Yes the dominoes are standin in a line
Glad you get to spend time with Tuco. And, yes! they are like children. Tuco can be the Princess of the Palace.