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**CAUTION** - Trigger Warning

Hofstra warning

Hofstra warning at last week’s Presidential debate

The following may contain triggering and/or sensitive material and quite possibly NSFW content.

OK, so if you were born after 1985 and do NOT have a knife  clipped to your pocket this very moment -OR-  if you are one of the 130,000 self-described ninjas on LinkedIn or YouTube; it might be best to skip down to our normal, mostly PC content.  Look for the picture of the soft bunny and unicorn ’cause I wanted to make it easy peasy Bucky.

*************

Sometimes I connect the dots odd.  Sometimes the dots got no business being connected and I do it ’cause I am serenely oblivious.  Sometimes I connect ’em just to see if something is gonna blow up or mebbe make the women cry.  Just sayin’………..

I logged into my earthlink.net account this morning to change my CC info and I must have hit some wayback portal or something.  They asked me for the dial-up phone number I used to access the internet. WTF?  I had to search that dusty part of my brain 20 years back to even remember what they was askin’.

I have had this earthlink account since 1995  -12 years before there was an iPhone.  Believe it or not I was pretty much a techno geek back then.  I kept up with all the latest and greatest electronical crap and it was a chore; let me tell ya.  Probably why I gave it up about the turn of the century.   So talkin’ about the days before smartphones and safe places might cause some of you snowflakes some angst but its’ gotta be said.  There was a time when there was no Google (founded 1998) and no saturation of connectivity to the WWW far and wide.

Back then we had the earthlink, AOL and Compuserve and you plugged your computer into the hard wired landline and then your modem dialed a local phone number and BAM!! you were connected to the entire world.  If you were cutting edge, you had two landlines with one being just for your computer. Heady stuff and we really thought we were absolutely the baddest badass ninjas of all time.  If you had invested your stock market $$$  in the internet technology back then, you would be a rich mother like Bezos or Cuban or Gates now.  Your own tropical island / Gulfstream  kinda rich.

Something happened though and I don’t think Al Gore really thought it through all the way when he invented the webz.   Back then a hacker was a bad cough or a bad writer; not some Ukrainian 20-something  stealing your credit card info.   No webcams that you had to cover up with black electrical tape to keep the FBI from peepin’ at ya because a 2400 baud modem wouldn’t even come close to streamin’ video.  I am just about as old as the NSA (1952) but unlike them,  I have my integrity and personal freedom intact (mostly).  Along about a decade ago, I hollered calf rope and jumped the hip ship. Best thing I ever did and I don’t expect you ninja snowflake millenials to get it or even deign to place it on your radar.   Trust me, one day you will figger it out whilst munchin’ on some soylent green perhaps.

Suzanne Somers - no silicone, no botox.

Suzanne Somers – no silicone, no botox. Not PC

So my go-to when I got off the technology hayride for that hard info that I refused to ingest was Fat Boy Scott.  He kept up on all that because that is how he made his $$$$ and impressed lusty barmaids nationwide.   He has been gone over 2 years now and my social media ignorance is approaching terminal dumbass; mostly.  Pffftttttt – F THAT noise!  If Fat Boy Scott were to write this blog entry today he would emphasize his point with some retro NSFW pic – always  got my attention.  So why not??  I think a retro hottie; while wholly inappropriate  and utterly un-PC may be the onliest thing that is really appropriate for me right here, right now.

   There; that oughta get all the good Baptists fired up.

Some of y’all are going to chide me and say “Hey, it ain’t so bad as you make out!” or “We are better off now!’  Well sir,  it is and we are not.  Why do you think I blew that popsicle stand to start with?

/rant off

/sarc off

cue the unicorn-and-bunny meme

START SAFE PLACE

START SAFE PLACE

Meanwhile, back in the puckerbrush…………

My flowback crew and workover rig are gone, gone and I am catching up on some rest.   Slow traffic is inversely related to gate guard job security but I need a dose of slow right now.  I am coming up on a solid year of 24/7 with no days off.

$200 more of Amazon Prime Pantry enroute because the pantry on the NO Princess Palace is not up to snuff,  I can’t do without my Community Coffee ; fact.   The more time goes by, the more and more I seem to channel my inner Cajun.  Those folks ended up in the bayous after coming down from way up north and figured out how to eat most anything that crawled or swam in the swamps.  Gotta hand it to ’em because they not only figured out how to cook all those critters but it turns out damn tasty as well.   I am filling up a shopping cart at Cajun Grocer with some interesting stuff.   Hell, they will even ship you some shrimps and mud bugs if that is what you are hungry for.  I seldom have the Cajun Holy Trinity on hand fresh so it is a challenge.  My copy of Chef Paul Prudhomme’s Louisiana Kitchen is gettin’ plumb dog eared with use and there is lotsa scribblin’ in the margins.  It is an Amazon best seller with good reason.

Hunting season (my second one here) on the ranch has commenced and hunting is BIG business for sure.  I got a request in for hog and deer meat that is extry .  I got half a mind to try my hand at some wild sausage makin’.    From all accounts, research and past experience, I do believe I could pull that off in an RV.

End Note: When did it get so easy to lie to me?  by Jason and the Scorchers from the Halcyon Times cd.  **ed. note** This End Note was generated on a Zune 120 which is a technology platform not heard from in a decade or more.  The Zune 120 goes to BFF Cait when I die because, undoubtedly, it will still be working.  Listen. Drink cold beer. Turn up the volume.  More beer. Repeat.

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6 comments to **CAUTION** – Trigger Warning

  • Ken

    Yeah, I was some kinda hot stuff when I hooked my laptop that musta weighed 15 lbs, used most of the telephone capabilities and connected to the company in Houston while I was in Anchorage. Hot shxx back then bubba. Took forever to do anything, but dang I was cutting edge. Nowadays things are different. Windows 3.1? Gimme a break.

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    • Andy

      I remember logging on to a local bulletin board in the late 80’s and the guy had a 1 gigabyte hard drive to store the online files. That was insanely HUGE at the time and I want to say it cost many thousands of dollars. I think I had a 9600 baud HST modem which was streaking fast for the day. Still DOS days then………..

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  • Donna

    The holy trinity freezes just fine. Get out yer chopping board and do a whole bunch at a time and freeze in single batches. Is it as good as fresh? No, but it’s better than gumbo without it, which is not gumbo.

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    • Andy

      Thanks Donna!
      I bet it would keep even better in a Foodsaver bag

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  • vince

    Hiya Andy,

    Hope all is well your way.

    At 67.5 years old I don’t think I’m a “ninja snowflake millenial” or ninja anything, so, what the hell is “I hollered calf rope and jumped the hip ship”? You’ve completely friggin lost me on that one! Just don’t have a clue.

    You just cut a walking (snake) stick? Your part of the country that’s a must. You ever eat buzztail soup? Me neither. Pretty sure never will.

    Be careful out there.

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    • Andy

      I gave up on keeping up with technology Vince. Hell, I just got rid of my Motorola RAZR phone last year.

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