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I Love Me Some o' That Peanut Butter.

Me and that Tuco Dog love a peanut butter sandwich ‘long about mid-morning.  I’ll fix me up one and then spread a little on a single slice and fold it over for the perfect dog-wich.  Sometimes we live dangerous and add a little honey or jam to the mix. It is just the thing to smooth out the caffeine twitch that develops about the time I finish off a whole pot of coffee.  Just ’cause you are old doesn’t mean you lose that adventurous spirit!

Miss K takes care of all things food here at the oil field outpost which is as it should be;  what I know about food (besides eating it) would all fit on the back of a post card.  The other day she got back from trekking the 22 miles to the ‘good’ grocery store in Gainesville and I noticed 4 large jars of creamy peanut butter.  I measured out a question, weighing whether or not I wanted to exhibit further food ignorance and curiosity got the best of me.  ‘Sup with the peanut butter hoarding?’  –asked with brave aplomb.  I got the ‘oh you pitiable soul’ look and she said ‘ Haven’t you heard?  Peanut butter prices are going through the roof!’  I looked at Tuco the Dog.  Tuco the Dog looked at me.  They should have a State Hospital to take care of clueless souls like That Dog and me.  The world would be a better place if we were off the streets.

Swiffer Dust Mop or Gordon Setter? You decide.....

I was sitting at the laptop so I decided to sneaky-pete and check Miss K’s cataclysmic peanut butter revelation.  Why oh why do I even question Her Blondness, ever?  Right here it is.   Even elementary Google Fu puts you right on top of it.  I musta been looking for parts for 30 year old generators or something when this news broke ’cause I completely missed it.  I looked accusingly at the Damned Dog.  You gotta blame somebody, right?   I know, I know.  I am the one with the opposable thumbs so that makes me boss.   Shame on me for blaming my ignorance on a poor animal that looks like a Swiffer Dustmop commercial.

Last year peanuts were $400 per ton.  This year they are $1200 for that same ton of raw peanuts.   Even I can do that math.  The drought did it.  Unprecedented dry weather in Georgia and Texas did away with most of this year’s  peanut crop. Supply and demand took care of the rest of it.  Peanut butter is a staple of food banks because of the high food value and long shelf life.  It is the preferred sandwich of Pre-K yard scratchers, silly old men and drooling dogs.  Or maybe that is silly dogs and drooling old men.  Sometimes that Old Timers disease kicks in and I get sorta fuzzy around the edges.

Peanut butter is not the only thing affected by the drought.  You priced a fresh tomato lately?  Or milk?  How about a good ribeye for the grill?  Beef prices are going to skyrocket due to this drought.  Stands to reason if you think about it.  If you sell all the mama cows because there is no grass, next spring you got no babies.  If there are no yearlings to go to the feedlots to get fat for the butcher, the man with the fat bankroll is going to be the only one that can eat up on that beef.  Me?  I got about as much chance of munchin’ down on a Dodo Bird Hot Wing as I do a good rare ribeye.

Miss K came home with a 20lb bag of rice and biggest cardboard tube of Quaker Oats I have ever seen in the back of PACO (PACO= Piece of Crap Camry for the unknowing) last week.  I have not worked up the nerve to ask her what that is about yet.   TEOTWAWKI?  SHTF?   Nuclear Winter?  Zombies?  Lord, I hope it ain’t the damned Zombies.   Looks bad for the home team of the Old Man and Tuco the Dog without a doubt.   Gruel and mush.  Mush and gruel.  Maybe rice and fish heads if we are lucky.  Maybe I oughta start a Feed the Old Man charity?  Or better yet–  Adopt a Dustmop; dogs are always a magnet for compassionate giving.   If I can learn Tuco the Dog  to share that is.  A can of delicious Dinky Di might not be too bad ‘long about this time next year.

 

End Note: Desert Skies by the Marshall Tucker Band from the Greatest Hits cd.  In a karmic lightning bolt that struck from deep in the depths of my hard drive this AM, this is the first song that pulled up and played.  I just gotta go with it.   Good sax groove in there — just sayin’

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5 comments to I Love Me Some o’ That Peanut Butter.

  • Jolly Ollie

    Hi Andy~ have you tried those peanut butter crackers made by the Austin company? You can get them at the .99¢-Only stores, Walmart, Dollar Tree, etc. They are really good and they’re already prepared for you! You just have to open the package and TA-DA!
    They come 12 packages to a box and there are 6 double crackers (12 total) in each cellophane-wrapped serving.
    They also make them in other varieties too… the cheddar cheese ones are mmm-mmmm yummy too!

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  • ” Maybe rice and fish heads.” You don’t wanna go there, Andy…

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    • Andrew

      I figured someone would catch that reference Guy.

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  • don

    You are working in the oil industry; why the hell would you be worried about money? If anyone has a stable job it would be you!

    BTW, when we lived in Florida we got these little bugs, about the size of a pin-head in EVERYTHING. If it wasn’t in the fridge, it had bugs. Even things that weren’t open were infested. I know the preppers have ways to fight the bugs; CO generators and stuff. I just don’t think it’s worth it; if I’m wrong I guess I’ll be hungry. Enjoy your rice & Quaker Oats. (BTW Miss K, thanks for buying Quaker, I’ve got a cousin who works there!) Yep, it does sometimes go around to come around.

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