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Funny Money

Miss K and I were having a spirited discussion last night and she challenged me for some reason or another;  hell, I can’t even remember how it came up.   I bet she can because she is just plain scary when it comes to stuff like that.   I get by with very little when it comes to the he said/she said thing.

Any way, she said ‘You don’t have any money in your wallet.  You never have any money in your wallet.‘    True enough.  For the most part, I don’t even carry the thing around anymore.   Why bother?  I think I have been outta here into the real world maybe 6 times in almost 3 months.  For the most part the wallet resides on top of a cigar humidor that was picked up at a thrift store once upon a time.   My area of operations centers around the side of the dinette that has the biggie butt  dimple in the seat cushion.  That area is protected man space.  I think I am allowed a two foot buffer zone or something.  The top of the box has guy stuff that I might need real quick like the Zune, a pair of nail clippers, a pen, sharp knife, knife sharpener (duh!),  a flashlight, DISH remote, a single round of .223 ammo that didn’t go down with the ship during the tragic boating accident   and a cotton swab that looks like it still has two good ends.   The inside of the cigar box has stuff I might need this  year  and I won’t even try to inventory the innards.  You have to take all the stuff off the top to open the box  — a flaw in my basic supply of man plan but you cannot say I do not lead an orderly and defined life.

Necessary man stuff

Oh, I won the challenge neener neener!    I had 3 twenties that were in there from somewhere. Sorta surprised me too, not that I let on or anything.

This morning I was watching a long time fave TV show CBS Sunday Morning which I still contend is the best done news magazine show on the air.  Of course, that may be due to Charles Kuralt coming up with the concept and hosting it for 15 years until his retirement in 1994.  The lead story was about how we are becoming a cashless society.

I gotta say I don’t carry much cash. Like everyone else these days, I just use a debit card and the India indian guy at the C-Store gets some electronic bits in his bank account that means money and they take away the same number of electronic money bits from me.  Pretty mundane stuff these days.   Well, the story this morning was how they had kicked all this money transfer stuff up a level or two.   Seems to me like smart phones are the main culprit.  Regular readers know I am not a smart phone fan in the least because I can’t scrinch my fingers properly to perform the intended task.  (Miss K has an iPhone.)   Like when all in the hell I want to do is check the weather radar and I end up calling one of the kids instead.  I can’t hang up because then they will think something is wrong, ya know?  So I have to complete the call and I usually say something lame like ‘How’s the weather?’ when they answer.

Well, all these folks with smart phones that can pay your bills and send money to your friends and deposit your paycheck seemed  just overjoyed they had these capabilities.  I found it unsettling and a bit too Orwellian to suit me.  (Hold on a sec, gotta find my tin foil hat for the next part. )  You see, I just don’t care for the ‘convenience’  of somebody somewhere being able to jump right in the middle of what I got going on and take a look-see at what my business is.  It usually is all fun and games until the Flying Monkeys  attack!   It would be a teeny baby step to nationalize the banks and issue a national debit card.  Hell, just write an Executive Order.  Then those government folks could take it a step farther and say the National Debit Card is the only accepted form of payment for most things and it is the only accepted form of disbursement for government social service programs and we would be sure ’nuff screwed.  Oh, and get this, the National Debit Card would also have an RFID chip embedded  in it.

Like I said, those folks on the TV were just peachy- happy about the whole rotten thing.  I certainly didn’t walk away with the warm fuzzies;   not by a damned site.

End Note: We Gotta Get Out of This Place by The Animals from the Animals Retrospective cd

 

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5 comments to Funny Money

  • Richard

    This here phone’s for talking, fella. You got a beef with that?

    My kids call me Fuddy-Duddy because I choose not to get a phone that plays movies and has a couple dozen accompanying apps. Don’t tell anyone but I’m still app-ignorant. There is just something about a phone that says, “talk and listen, not watch and type.” Tell you the truth, I don’t mind a bit being an old fuddy-duddy, I’ve worked a long time to achieve this status. Do you think an “app” could help me find my suspenders? Nope. Hey Ma, where’s my suspenders?

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    • Andrew

      I don’t even like to respond to text msgs

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  • Ken

    Damn, Andy – you make old Andy Rooney proud!

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  • Jerry Criswell

    Of course using the smartphone means you won’t lose your debit card.

    Of course I have my smartphone password protected.

    JC (72 years old)

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  • Joel

    I have a Tracfone. It sits in a bag under my bicycle seat, in case of emergency. Other than that, I think I’ve used it maybe six times in the last six years.

    That said, I *love* digital transactions. No checkwriting. No worrying about bank hours. I carry a few 20’s, but only use them to speed transactions for small purchases.

    Just got a Kindle for Father’s day. Enjoying my NYT subscription for now, but look forward to reading books. Almost bought my my first Kindle book this weekend, but then my lovely and talented wife found a used copy for a quarter of the price.

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