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My Buddy --- The Gritty Fabric of Life

I got this buddy out in a fifth wheel in Northern New Mexico.

. . . . . .

Hmmmmph,   I guess I have writer’s block  as that sentence has been sitting on the screen for over 10 days now.   Dave is my buddy, part of the internet family that has grown up around the blog and the forums.  He came on the scene early in the life of the blog and was one of the first to sign up for the forums.   Y’all know him as Sailbad over at that place. By way of explanation on that moniker, he offered this up to Miss K when she asked him about it:

Living near Newport Beach harbor for many years, I finally bought a 25′ sail boat. I used the boat to sail to Catalina and surrounding islands. But it never seemed I could go exactly where I planned without a lot of course changes. During that time I also was indulging in all of life’s pleasures which also required a lot of course changes. Somewhere in there I was reminded of Sinbad the sailor and I started a play on words. It seems to me if Sinbad was a Sailor then Sailbad the Sinner fit me perfectly.
The funny thing is in the last 25 years that I have had that user name, only one person has ever figured out what it means.

Me and that Dave talk about guy stuff….  inverters and truck tires and the best way to dig post holes in hard ground; just guy stuff.  If I can remember just exactly, Dave first contacted me way back then when I did one of those barely rational blog posts—   probably a rather opinionated and skewed  redneck-cowboy rant-o-rama.  He told me he agreed with me on most things so that got it all started.   Over the years I could count on Dave to sort the fly shit from the pepper and bring me the important stuff.   We never talked about  the best way to cook cabbage,   laundry detergent  or the fact the kids don’t call much anymore.  Somewhere along the way I gleaned out he had been divorced for most of a decade, he had grown up in Oklahoma and spent later years in SoCal.  I am guessing he is 60ish since he told me he was retired.  I have never seen a picture of Dave or talked to him on the phone.  About as personal as we ever got was when he was talking about getting a dog and asked my opinion on what I thought might be his best bet.   I got a personal email from him when we decided to keep the forum open.   It was uncharacteristically maudlin’ for Dave and it has stuck with me. He wrote me “Thank you for deciding to keep the forum active. You and Miss Kathy have always made me feel welcome as part of your close internet family. I count you both as true friends.”

Dave’s Favorite Picture – He said the look on Miss K’s face always makes him LOL.

One of the things that has got me looking crooked at this whole deal was the way I opened my last blog post prior to this one  titled Finite Lives:

Just plain ol’ facts…..

  • We are all gonna die.
  • Anything mechanical will eventually fail.

Dave never read that post because he had been dead for two days.  It would be another day before the sheriff responded to a welfare call from relatives in Oklahoma.   I had emailed Dave with no response for several days and eventually went back to an email he had CC’d me on and picked one of the emails addy’s out and sent this inquiry:


You do not know me but I have been friends with Dave Cxxxxxx for the last few years. If you look at some of his past emails he sent to friends, you will find this email address in his CC: list.

The reason I write this morning is because I have not heard anything from Dave since 9/22. I trust everything is OK but I am concerned. If you have any info re: Dave, I sure would appreciate it.

Best Regards,

I received this reply in short order:

I’m sorry to tell you that David died a week ago last Friday. Diana his daughter and Gail, his wife had been unable to get a response from his e-mail for three days. So, Diana called the County Sheriff and they went to his place and found him dead on his bed. They think he went in to lie down about 12 or 1 PM and just did not wake up.
Gail ask me to come to NM and pick up all his things including his trailer and bring them back with me to Oklahoma City. We are having an auction to sell everything which will probably be the 28th of this month. I will put you on the list to send you a copy of the brochure we are making up for the auction. If I can be of any more help let me know. We will all miss Dave.

So this morning I was reading some anarchistic, radical, Obama-must-have-spent-the-stimulus-money-on-pot rave and I thought ‘ Ol’ Dave will get a kick out of this. Let me send it to him….’

Instead I wrote this blog entry.

and that is all I have to say about that*

End Note: What’s Going On (Live)  by  Los Lobos from the CD Just Another Band from East L.A.

Just about covers it Dave.  Vaya con Dios mi amigo.


*     ‘I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time and that is all I have to say about that.‘  — Forrest Gump

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6 comments to My Buddy — The Gritty Fabric of Life

  • Joel

    I guess this counts as your second online eulogy, after Reggie Roebuck. I’m sorry to have to say it, but you are good at it.

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    • Andrew

      I have the one I do as an annual observance as well Joel and the one on Cait’s Marine friend Alex.

      Too many it seems.

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  • Bryan Irwin

    Appropriate and very touching at the same time. Good Job to you on this one. He will be missed around the forums.

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  • Joel

    Yeah. I just remembered the one on Danny Taylor.

    The price of living a long life.

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  • They are often odd, these friendships we develop on the web. Sort of abstract, bereft of the tactile assurances and broad familiarity we get bumping up against people in our daily lives. And sometimes, perhaps simply because they have been so shallow, they can be abruptly deep.

    If we don’t all go silent before we go still, it may happen that many of us will one day be making or reading a post like this one:


    It can be hard, to reach out late in time of need and find that all there is to get hold of is a smoky cloud of bits and bytes.


    Old Friends

    I inquire about your health,
    and you deliberate the weather.
    At length we incrementally conclude,
    knowing each other as we do,
    that everything wears out, whatever
    you see in me, or I in you.

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  • don

    Very well written as ever even if it is a depressing subject. The mere fact of friendship with people we never see or meet is one of the wonders of the internet. I too have people who just dropped off the edge; all you can do is wonder.

    Take care.

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