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Knife Whore

I was all set this morning to continue my studying up on how to make ground squirrel / packrat snares from the frayed threads on the bottom cuff of my Wranglers.  Hey! It may be the nigh PockyLips but a fella still has to eat, right?  And I plan on eating most every day.  Thank goodness I can relax now since some English fellas figured out how to make gasoline from thin air.  I always knew all that Peak Oil stuff was just nonsense any way, right?  I mean, really, Government is always going to take care of a Decent Citizen Man like me.  I suspicion there is most likely some of this good news that mainstream media failed to report.  Most likely something like it takes 9 terrawatts of electricity to produce an eyedropper full of this ‘air gas’ but I ain’t gonna worry about that right now.

My Grandfather’s knife — just like it came out of his pocket.

With the morning off, I decided to wander over to the Tragic Boating Accident Support Forum and see what was happening over there.  Y’all remember the Tragic Boating Accident, right?  Scarred me for life it did.  It was just tragic.   Today the ol’ boys over at TBASF were talking about knives and it struck a chord with me.

Miss Kathy has been calling me a knife whore here lately.  Seems every trip she makes to the Post Office there is something new along that vein to add to the growing number of knives in our possession.   Mainly, ’cause this is how I see it.  There are plenty of folks who carry a little ol’ piddlin knife in their pocket right now.  Little pen knives and such that are good for trimming your fingernails or opening a letter but not a whole lot else.  Back in the day,  they called those gentleman’s knives and it was an apt description.   Knives have always been tools and tools change according to the application.  The day may come again when a gentleman’s knife is just not enough knife to get the job done.

Case 3 Bladed Stockman

In my way of thinking, a knife has always been about utility.  At one time, I carried a  Case 3 Bladed Stockman .  I kept one blade razor sharp and used it to castrate pigs and calves, notch ears and such as that.  Being as how I haven’t castrated a calf in around 3 decades, I don’t have need for a knife like that.   For awhile there, I carried a gentleman’s knife that matched my shiny corporate shoes.   Had to make damned sure it was PC and wouldn’t make the pretty lady in the next cubicle pee her panties when I fished it out of my pocket.

When I threw those shiny shoes out that wee pretty knife followed soon after.  I quickly found out using it for a screwdriver or pry bar rim wrecked it completely.   I bought a Leatherman Wave Multitool which is the tool all the guys that work with their hands wear on their belts.  I discovered I needed it about as much as a fish needs a bicycle. If I wanted a screwdriver, I pulled out the saw blade.  If I was hunting for the scissors I ended up with the brain probe tool.  It was like the Rubik’s cube of knives to me.  I never could figure out that Cube either. I still have the  Wave  put back somewhere.  Just don’t rush me if I have to use it!

Ridin’ in my pocket as we speak — Gerber Obsidian

A few years back, a friend gave me a Gerber Obsidian Knife and it has been riding clipped to my right front pocket ever since doing yeoman’s duty.  Two screwdriver blades and a bottle opener along with a good sturdy blade, I heap the abuse on it daily.   Opening boxes, cutting rope or wire, digging in the dirt or shorting across the terminals of a dead starter solenoid it has proved itself up for sure.  It usually ain’t sharp enough to cut the balls off a Brahmer but then again, it don’t have to be.  As long as it will open up a cardboard box or cut the top out of a plastic jug or poke a pour hole in a metal can, I am all set.

I hold it to be a true fact that there is an inverse relationship between population density and knife size.  The farther you get back in the pucker brush or Piney Woods the bigger the knives get.  The good State of Texas has something to say about that as well.   I can carry as many handguns and rifles and shotguns in my Suburban as it will hold as long as they are covered up.  If I have a Concealed Handgun License,  I can load up on pistolas until I can’t walk and everything is as fine as frog hair.  But I can’t have a knife that has a blade over 5 1/2 inches long.  If you was to make the ‘L for Loser’ sign with your thumb and index finger and hold it up to your forehead like folks do, it would most likely be 5 or 5 1/2″ from the tip of your index finger to the web of your thumb.  Just sayin’……..

Buck 110 on my belt

I haven’t seen a sizable town in 6 months so that population density thing must be working on me.  I have taken to carrying a Buck 110 Lockback Folding Knife on my belt.  I keep the 3 3/4″ blade wicked sharp and clean and it does good work peeling apples, cutting up a knot of deer jerky or slicing off a hunk of dog sausage.   I can walk into Big’s Store over in town and nobody gives it a second look.   I imagine I would get more than one stinkeye if I walked into PF Changs in the Big D with it on my belt.  The times they are a changin’ though.

 

 

Vintage Buck 102 Woodsman

It wasn’t too long ago that most country folks relied on a good fixed blade knife on their belt.  I have been haunting eBay looking for that vintage Buck 102 Woodsman , Buck 105 and 192.  30-40 year old knives crafted with American pride from Pittsburgh steel and I ain’t doing too bad collecting some up — as evidenced by Miss K’s grumblings about me being a knife whore.   That doesn’t stop her from glancing over when I start slicing open the latest Post Office booty and occasionally saying  ” I’ll be having that one “ when a particularly keen blade catches her fancy.  She tends to have a good eye for that sorta thing.

 

 

End Note:  One by Danny Barnes from the Rocket cd.

Fits my quirky, off kilter mood this morning.

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5 comments to Knife Whore

  • I’ve been reading your blog now for a couple of weeks and really enjoy it. Loks of interesting topics and lifes lessons.

    I had to comment on this post not because of the subject matter; most guys like knives in various forms but because it is scary that you brought up the Buck 102 Woodsman. Last year my wife and I bought a 2004 GMC 3500 truck to tow our new 5th wheel; we bought the truck over eBay in Texas. Once we got it back to Minnesota I was installing a radio and found a Buck 105 in it’s sheath hidden in the console. Nice knife since I have never seen one ever, but it must be a popular Texas tool.

    Keep up the great writing and safe travels with Miss K.

    Later,

    John

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  • Ken

    There are a lot of people that just do not understand a pocket knife. Dad gave me one of his old ones when I was 6. Damn teacher thought it was horrible and sent me home. All I was doing was peeling an apple. I have carried a pocket knife ever since. That makes it 67 years now. I have totally lost count of how many I own. Glad I did not lose any of them during my tragic boating accident down at Pandale.
    Grandson asked me the other day if I had my knife? I told him if I had my pants on, I did. Naked without it. Probably couldn’t even tie my shoes without a pocketknife on me.

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  • Bryan Irwin

    I was lucky enough to get my Grandfather’s Monarch Bowie Knife that he carried when he traveled. After reading your post I decided to get it out and give it a good looksie. Its still wicked sharp and the blade needs a good cleaning but it remains a good quality knife. There is just something about a good fixed blade knife in your hand.

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  • Miss V

    LOL! Dexter is a knife whore also!!! If you don’t need to cut the nuts off something, why carry such a huge hog splitter?

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    • Andrew

      If you don’t need to cut the nuts off something, why carry such a huge hog splitter?

      And the guy answer to that is ‘I might need it for something.’

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