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The Scenery Seldom Changes........

I have been running out the door about every hour since coming on shift to check in a passel of Halliburton equipment. The big pumps and tanks and engines of a frac crew are dropped off on the pad and the crew van loads up to take them back to wherever it is they have been working for another round. We have been sitting in the same location for 22 weeks now and the countryside has gone from the rich green of a wet Fall to the dusty brown of the Winter Doldrums. It is 25 degrees at 0540 and the wind is out of the North-Northeast at 7mph. The scenery changes little. It is what it is.

Had to hit up Amazon this week for a new lid for the Thetford Aqua Magic toilet. The old one was retired after 18 years of odious soldiering through thick and thin. It had developed some hairline cracks around the edges which tended to expand in direct relation to buttweight. Miss Kathy remarked offhandedly the other day that it was pinching her butt. As tiny as her little tushie is, the pinch was probably akin to a small canary nipping lightly at her fair skin. Me, on the other hand, sometimes that bastard grabbed me like a Louisiana Bull Gator and I had to snatch the Multitool off my belt to pry that sumbitch off my ass. Being as how we have a strict ‘No Snivelin’ policy in effect I was suffering through waiting for her to holler ‘Calf Rope’. All is bliss in the cuarto de bano as of this writing and I musta done it up right because Miss K bestowed Chicken Tetrazinni on me and Tuco the Dog. That is top shelf grub in case ya didn’t know.

I also got an Oxygenics Body Spa Handheld Shower Kit to replace the old squirter head in the stall and that one didn’t go oh so great. They make that rascal so it attaches to the shower head up tall on the wall like in a house. The Old Girl has the deal where it attaches below the water mixin’ handles. I was back there cussin’ and runnin’ out the door every seven minutes to check in sand trucks and Miss Kathy decided to give her advice. Bless her heart!

“Can’t you McGuyver it up some way or another?” Hmmmmmmph, sure thing love of my life. Let me run down the plumbing aisle right here in the frozen pucker brush and see what they got in the McGuyver Section. Ah well, we’ll figger somethin’ out. I got that tetrazinni debt to work off so I best be gettin’ after it huh?


As expected I got those that are chiding me for writing the Book. How did I know that was going to be the case?  Lookie here friends and neighbors,  If you want to read about RV fulltiming ALL the time there are blogs that do that.  If you want to read about gate guarding ALL the time,  visit our message forum.  If you tune into THIS blog  channel because you find it oddly evocative and it sometimes makes you scratch your head and say “What the hell did he just say?” ;   well then, you are in the right place I reckon.

I started a topic over on the message board related to The Book  called the Editor and I am enjoying the critiques and suggestions; truly I am.  I am also gigglin’ like a little girl because some folks are of a mind that I have set to writing a turn of the century Louie L’Amour mash up.   Ummmm– no.

Here is an excerpt from the installment that will probably show up in 4-5 days:



>>October 2005<<

Chesley looked up as the last customer in line stepped to the counter at the Dulce, New Mexico Post Office.  He looked like so many others out that way, grizzled and weather worn,  a wear faded Carhartt vest decidedly warm for the fairly mild temperatures of the early fall and a go to hell gray Stetson with a corner of the brim turned up that was sweat stained where the crown met the brim.  By her estimation he looked to be in his 60s with hair that had gone steely gray.  More than a few days stubble on his cheeks framed an odd goatee that would have looked more in style during the Civil War.

“How you doing Mr. Dave?”  He looked up from the overnight envelope in his hands and said “Not bad for an old man gal.”  She was struck by his green eves and steady gaze that cut through the distance between the two.  “Not a bad lookin’ old dude–not bad at all”  she thought, even though he was a good 30 or 40 years her senior. She looked past his shoulder to where his pickup truck was nosed in to the curb.  “See you got your runnin’ buddy with you today.” Dave turned slightly and smiled.  “Yeah – that Buck dog likes to make every step I do.”   She scanned the envelope and said  “Alrighty Mr. Dave,  this’ll be delivered in Oklahoma City by noon tomorrow.”  He handed her a twenty and she asked “That it for today?” as she made change.  He pocketed the change and turned to leave “Oughta do it for me.”  Chesley watched as he walked out and got into the old Chevy on the curb. The odd looking black and brown dog had his head out the driver’s side window and nosed the old man’s chest when he opened the door to get in.  She dropped the overnight letter in the plastic and cardboard bin marked Property of USPS on the rear counter and disappeared into the back of the small Post Office.

Dave opened the door of the institutional green 1969 Chevy K20 4×4 Camper Special.  “Git over Buck!” he said as he slid behind the wheel. The 292 cubic inch straight 6 fired off as he turned the key.  He reached over and palmed the broom handle shifter to the right and back to reverse away from the curb and into the center of the mostly deserted street.  Pushing in the clutch again,  he pulled the shifter toward him and then back and eased out on the clutch as the truck started forward in second gear.  Two blocks down Main, he parked in front of the drugstore “Back in a minute Buck.” Letter mailed and prescriptions picked up,  he headed out of town east on US 64 and pulled into the parking lot of the Jicarrilla Apache Casino.

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1 comment to The Scenery Seldom Changes……..

  • Bob

    Ah. I might not completely relate to living the life of a Gate Guard, but I SURE AS HELL can relate to that “cracked toilet seat bitin’ yer ass” situation.
    Then if you do get it off yer ass, there’s always one or two hairs that get yanked.
    Such fun.

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