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I Didn't Sign Up For This

South Texas Weather Forecast:  HOTTTT!

Before I get to the meat let me talk about something I did sign up for.  We have had 9 straight days of legit temps 100 degrees or better with more on the way.  Everything is burnt up, brown and brittle.  The inside of the NO Princess Palace is dark as a cave 24/7 with the InfraStop White Double Bubble Reflective Foil Insulation covering every window and vent opening – without the Infrastop and the window shaker chugging away in the bedroom this would not be survivable.  If you got that SAD disorder; stay way – this ain’t the place for you. The metal entrance steps on The Palace get so hot by mid afternoon that you can’t put your hand on them for even a split second.  Dumbass me only noticed that when Vela Von was waiting to get in and prancing on the steps like a circus pony.   Now I keep a bottle of coolish water just inside the door and she waits until I wet down the steps to go in.  Dogs isn’t stoopid.  So, no whining,sniveling,complaining. It is what it is. You either put up with it or head back north of I-40.

What I didn’t sign up for is this DC shit show.  I know, I know, folks get all put out when I go on a semi-anarchistic rant but it is past time to be wakin’ up.

Let’s try this for those folks who refuse to acknowledge there really is a turd in the punch bowl.   I got an apple on the counter.  I pick it up and I know it is an apple.  My neighbor comes over and I say ‘Here, have this apple.’  They take it and say ‘That is a fine looking apple. Thank you.’   Scene 2.  Now then, I am your bestie from the GOV and I am here to help you,  m’kay neighbor?  I have a bagel on the counter but for my GOV purposes it has to be an apple because, like, I am smarter than you and I know what is best for you and all that stuff  so a bagel is now an apple.  So neighbor, you come over and I pick up the bagel.  ‘Here is an apple for you.’   You look at it and you pretty much know it is not an apple but bein’ as how I am the GOV and all you smile and say ‘Oh, thank you for the apple GOV man.  I know it is in my best interest to take this apple-gift from you.’

Or more cleverly put –

“If the cat has kittens in the oven you don’t call ’em biscuits.”

I am not a Trump fan but there is no way I could have supported the not-yet-convicted-felon Hillary.  I held out small hope Trump would make good on at least a few of his campaign promises.  Alas, it seems to have been nothing but pillow talk to coerce us deplorables to cast our vote his direction.  Events these past few days have absolutely convinced me he is completely in bed with Wall Street, World Banks and the Elitists with all the money.

The shit show out of DC has been most exceptional this week.  First off we have the Senate and the House voting for serious sanctions against Russia, Iran and North Korea. Many of these sanctions date back to The Obama Administration and turn Obama’s executive orders into law.  Trump said he would veto but the Senate and House passed with such an overwhelming majority that the sanctions are “veto proof”.  How convenient for President Trump since he only said he would veto the bill as part of that Make America Great Again dog and pony show.  The sanctions are great for Big Business!

The we have Attorney General Sessions strengthening the asset forfeiture policy at the Department of Justice. Have y’all checked this out?  In a nutshell, it says law enforcement agencies can  seize cash,vehicles and vehicle contents if there is even a hint of crime involvement. You don’t even have to be charged with a crime for them to take your stuff.  Then the burden of proof is on you, Citizen, to prove your confiscated goods had no ties to criminal activity.  Some jurisdictions in Texas are deriving 40% of their budget from asset forfeiture and the abuse of the law is legion.  Look at it this way — I am roadtrippin’ in  my big ass Suburban and it is chock full of bowling equipment and I have $2000 cash in my pocket.  This would not be an uncommon event.   I get pulled over in Toe Blister, TX for an absolute BS ‘following too closely’ accusation  (this happened).  Instead of running my license and then letting me go with a warning – this fictional scenario unfolds.

John Law:  ‘Do you have any firearms in the vehicle?’

Me (being truthful): ‘Yes. Mucho.’  (All of them perfectly legal and stored in legal fashion to meet all Texas legal stautes,)

John Law’s eyes narrow and he places his right hand on the butt of his Glock: ‘Please step out of the vehicle for my protection.’

I comply and move to the back of his patrol car as indicated.

John Law: ‘Please empty your pockets on the trunk of my car.’  When the wad of cash comes out things go south.  I am handcuffed for his protection.  He asks for permission to search my vehicle and I say ‘HELL NO!’  He says he has cause to search my vehicle without a warrant and proceeds to lay all my stuff out in a row on the bank of the road ditch.  It takes awhile.

John Law:  ‘Why do you have this large amount of cash and all these firearms in your vehicle?’

Me:  ‘I am on my way to a family reunion in Bug Tussle, TN and this is how I roll.’

John Law: ‘Are you involved in drug trafficking, money laundering or gang activity?’

Me: ‘No, no and NO!  I am going to a family reunion and nothing I have in my possession is illegal.’

John Law: ‘Sir,  I believe your answers are not truthful and as such, I am going to confiscate the cash and firearms until such time as we can determine whether or not those items have been involved in illegal activity.’

Me:  Losing it, screaming obscenities.

John Law: ‘Sir, if you do not calm down and get with the program I will seize your vehicle as well as the other items.’

So I shut up; he takes my stuff.  Now I have to hire a lawyer to attempt to recover my property even though I was never charged with a crime.

This didn’t happen; OK?   It is a fictional account based on facts taken from literally hundreds of civil forfeiture abuse cases.  So how the hell is it even possible we barely noticed this week when Jeff Sessions amped up the volume and made it even easier for John Law to take our stuff without cause??

With each and every new breaking headline, I apply this sniff test.  Will it:

  • Increase My Freedoms?
  • Put Money Back in my Pocket?
  • Make me more better handsome?

This past week has been oh so disappointing.  Nothing came close to passing the sniff test.  Au contraire,  my nose wrinkled as if I was in an abbatoir.

More and more lately, I feel like I got signed up for some kind of sick TV reality show when I voted last November – call it Trump Does America.  All reality shows are based on a group of individuals in a bizzarro setting into which an off-the-wall monkey wrench is introduced on a weekly basis to keep the ratings up. This week’s episode of Trump Does America:

Watch as the Donald brushes off the crushing defeat of his cornerstone Obamacare repeal by re-directing our attention to drama and upheaval in the West Wing staff.  His new Communications Director immediately goes on a profane tirade which results in a new Chief of Staff.  At the same time he pokes Russia toward war, alienates the EU and and deals with ICBMs over the West Coast. Stay tuned……..

Unlike my millennial daughter, BFF Cait,  I remember the good times in America.  I know damn well we will never see that again but at the same time I wholly and completely resent just being manual labor on the DC Tax Farm.  On of my favorite blog reads each week is Ol’ Remus at the Woodpile Report.  As far as I can figger, he is a baby boomer like me and lives somewhere in Deep Appalachia.  When he has a particularly insightful or provocative piece, I ask BFF Cait to read it. She doesn’t particularly like this request — she calls him ‘the scary man’ and with good reason I reckon.  See, me and Ol’ Remus remember the olden times and we know why we are mightily pissed.  BFF Cait and her millennial brothers and sisters are missing this historical knowledge I do my best to further her real world learnin’.

I will leave you with a snippet of what Ol’ Remus had to say this week; an entry I forced  kindly requested BFF Cait to read.


DC considers their power base—the urban west and east coasts and a few colonies in between—to be the real America, supported unwillingly but rightly by deplorables living elsewhere who would otherwise act solely from pathologies born of willful ignorance and native ill will. In other times and places “deplorables” were the “untermensch” or the “masses”, always seen as a dangerous, undifferentiated hive, uneducable but trainable, to be cowed and dazzled by turns, and in extremis better mourned than saved.

Compliance with DC’s quotas would become law enforcement’s number one priority. It would fall to the military to deal with organized resistance, which history suggests is a near-certainty. Calories and survival are nearly the same thing. The European undergrounds of World War II grew into effective forces only when workers and foodstuffs were transferred to Germany. Propaganda had no effect, it was seen for what it was: kidnapping, slave labor and looting. And so it would be here.

DC needn’t target survivalists and prepper communities directly, they’d feel the follow-on effects. Towns and villages forced to ante up their quota to support the cities wouldn’t endure famine when known stores of food and supplies were retrievable. Those preppers who didn’t voluntarily hand over their deep larders “for the common good” would find armed committees at their door. Nor should they expect equitable treatment, they’d be condemned as unconscionable hoarders, feasting while toddlers with empty stomachs cry the night away.

Just remember,  a bagel is a bagel Citizen and kittens will never be biscuits.


End Note: Top Shelf Drug by Ryan Bingham from the Fear and Saturday Night cd.

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7 comments to I Didn’t Sign Up For This

  • Bill

    I agree with you. I’m retired at 59, after 34 years in the oil patch.
    I can’t wait to get pulled over for some traffic BS, with my 10 year old dog, who HATES other dogs. It’s gonna be a shit show. And I’ll have 3-4 other firearms in the car as I “commute” from WY back to Houston for our annual migration.

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  • Kerry

    Thank you for the honesty.

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  • Cheryle Benton

    Like you said, YOU voted for him.

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    • Andy

      Yep,no secret there. The lesser of two evils perhaps?
      I am waiting on the outcome of:
      Imran Arwan / Debbie Wasserman Schultz reveal
      Seth Rich murder investigation
      Clinton email analysis
      Clinton campaign sabotage of Bernie Sanders
      Clinton Foundation fraud and theft related to Haiti Relief
      Secretary Clinton being indicted on charges related to the Benghazi Murders

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  • Don

    You pretty much nailed it. Trump is either a f**king idiot or is being played like one every f*(king day. I don’t know. I didn’t vote for him but really thought he might bring something new to the country. I thought not being a federal employee his whole life might mean something. Apparently it just means he is a fool.

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  • lhuebel

    While not a Fan of Trump, I suppose largely due to brazenness of his persona, I do have a Red ‘Make America Great’ hat. I view Trump as vastly superior, when compared to the vile felonious Hildabeast, who would have continued the race baiting, society degradation, rioting in the street, anarchy bestowed on the USA by OHbomma and the stooges of Progressive mental illness in our Congress with Pewlosi and Senate Chuckie Screwmore, while continuing to line their collective pockets w/ ill gotten riches. Whatever happened to common sense goals, golden rule, and actually working toward fixing the pot holes, healthcare issues for the masses w/o fleecing the working people, adopt a tax system that stops reaming the tax payers, and corporations. Liberals are after your money, and want to control all aspects of our lives, plus I blame them for all the speed bumps that foul up a perfectly good road/street on liberal busy bodies

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  • Martin

    I voted for Trump, proud to say that I did my duty and supported the only person on the ballot whose values are much like mine.

    President Trump has tried to do what he said he was going to do but if you haven’t noticed the Demorats won’t let him do it, the moronic Republicans who are butt hurt because Trump was elected won’t let him do it.

    He is blasted every day with total lies and fabrications from the media and poor little snowflakes who are also still butt hurt over the election.

    Until Congress allows him to perform his duties, until Congress stops holding up his appointments, until Congress gets their heads out of their butt hurt butts he will not be able to get much done.

    Give him a chance…he’s done a lot in the time that he’s been in office…the media just doesn’t report the good things.

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